So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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