go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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