Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
