She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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