Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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