remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
