After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
