the condom got lost in my hair
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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