I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
