But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
