We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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