hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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