I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
