and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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