I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
