You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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