I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
be right there i have to get my cape
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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