wanna go halves on a baby?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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