True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
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Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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