My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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