Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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