Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
