Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !

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(518): View more from New York

You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window

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(407): View more from Florida

he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him

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(248): View more from Michigan

There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style

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(631): View more from New York

My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that

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(310): View more from California

Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!

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