Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
