It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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