I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
