I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
