some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
