Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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