Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
