Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
