the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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