I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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