Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
