Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I am available for nakedness
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize