we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
