I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
