i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do vagina's smell?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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