dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
His hands were made for my vagina.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You may now shotgun with the bride
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
