I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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