Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
