i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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