Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
