Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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