It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
