i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
