Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
