I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
