2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
