then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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