My Higher Power is John Stamos
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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