You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
