you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
