i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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