This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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