I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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