I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
