Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I love you.
Bad choice
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