My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
