just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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