you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
