Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
