How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
