I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish I only lived at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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