I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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