Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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