we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I touched a dick in church today
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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