oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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