I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
