Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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