He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
