New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
porn star boner night. come get it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
