I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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