We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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