if only i could text you this smell
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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